Embers that Sparkle

A fight to the finish

Struggles only known to you alone

Tribulations that rock the boat

A storm that seems to rage

Lightning bolt striking 

When least expected

These are the days

When you feel the need

During spurts of defeat

A friend forsakes you

Without a warning

You wonder if you'd been

Wrong in choosing

That shoulder to lean on

Thinking you were on the same page

Traveling the seas together

A kindred strain

That turned out a joke

Which was on you

But the must clears

Sooner that you think

Another lifeline is thrown

A connection renewed

Fresh beginning

Once you cast

The shroud of self doubt

You realize 

The beauty of the world out there

Where hope is everlasting

And not all are the ugly you've just witnessed

So you click those heels

Whisper in your heart

Words that had never left

Aspire once again

To be who you truly are

Take flight

Like a Phoenix rising

From ash still with embers burning

Peel away those old layers

Break away from the mold

And find another kindred

With whom you expect less

Hope for the best

And let time take it's course

For only some find those with whom

They can be true

To that voice inside their hearts

Only some can hear that note

And feel the resonance

Understand without asking

What needs to be done

Once there you hold on to these spirits

With a light thread

No promises of fealty

For friends made on the  base of hope

Are the ones that persevere

And understand the need

For sincerity

And the aspirations of

A better to tomorrow.

Beneath the veneer

Time is of no consequence

When it comes to that imaginary age spot I see

Next to that wrinkle of a frown

On a forehead

Spending too much time in that perpectual freeze

I worry more about fitting into that size 4 jeans

Than to pick up that squeaky toy that's in the way of my new espadrilles 

I skip that meal 

Call myself a health nut

Just so I can stand next to the 20 something kid

And feel invincible

I can't find that happy place

That thought that gives me contentment

Why?

Because I need to know what everyone around me

In the world is doing

Just so I can claim to do the same

Keep up appearances

Put that lipstick on

And feel power for that moment

Friends come and go

I choose them as I would

A Chanel scarf

See the silky exterior

Put it against my skin so it complements

How I keep them close

Be the one to stoke their egos with flattery

While inside I'd rather be somewhere else.

I need to be

I have to be

The most prominent

Center of attention

If not the only voice in the room

Being followed and applauded

For if not the Belle of the Ball

My wrath will be invoked 

The green eyed cashmere serpent

Forking it's tongue

Spewing secret venom

On unsuspecting backs

I'll play the game

Of divide and conquer

To the best of my abilities 

For without that excitement

My life is dull 

Without spark

And even in the moments

Of truth

I shy away from being true

To myself

To the reality that looks back at me

From that gilded Mirror Mirror On the Wall

I have to be the fairest of them all

Or I strike , smite them down

Those who have it easy

The Witty, the Kind, the ones that effortlessly

Go through life

With no internal turmoil

Or the strife that brings me to my knees

But I stand tall

Keep that manicured hand in order

Smile my best

Find my way in the social sea

Just so no one can see

That Fatal Flaw

In me....

Out of the box

 

Years go by

Watching them fly with tail light beacons 

Flashing their sparkles

Blinding my eyes

Moments fleeting by

In the blink of an eye

As I try to gather up my wits

Just to get through a day

Without a fuss

I get stuck in a rut

A broken record

Begging for release

From the ancient phonograph

That holds it down

What's to be done

That hasn't been done before

By ones before me

Or the ones before them

A voice calls from within

An echo long forgotten

In the rubble that I have created

A life less than ordinary

Shakes me from that reverie

The trance that has had a hold

A hold over my existence

A leap of faith

A purge of the negative

A few kind words

And a glimpse into the world outside

The real one I chose not to see

And there it is

My Yellow Brick Road

In guise of the Ruby Red slippers

I'd slipped into all those years ago

So off I go finding my Dolce Vita

Following that echo

As it leads me to a Seuss-ical Box

Once opened I don't unleash The Mother of all messes 

But a thingamajig to clean up the mess

I called my life

Of Sunken Ships and Uplifted Spirits

In my state of dark depression
I free fall effortless
Down a deep rabbit hole
Unlike alice on her way down
Glimpses strange oddities
I discover peeled layers of my psyche
Threadbare, vulnerable,susceptible to harm

Strains of an acoustic guitar being strummed
In a far distance travel to my ears
An attempt to shake me from my doldrums
Sadly unsuccessful,
Dave Grohl on his 'Zildjian' cymbals
Cobain at his earthly best
An insightful 'Man who sold the world'
Yet motionless am i.
'Think happy thoughts' says Tinker Bell
'And watch yourself fly.'

But my spirits have sunk rock bottom
Aboard a wrecked Spanish galleon
Wedged between boulders on a seabed
Moss-covered, fish infested
Waiting for absolution
A release,reprieve...

A pair of staunch hands clasp weary shoulders
'Snap out of it' rasps a voice
The veil of disillusionment lifts
I have risen from my mental grave...
For i am alone no more

Steamed Veggie Wontons/Potstickers

Ingredients

* 3 tablespoons vegetable oil
* 1 tbsp spicy Sri Racha sauce
* 1 clove garlic, pressed
* 1 cup chopped firm tofu that has been drained
* 2 tablespoons rice wine vinegar
* 2 teaspoons soy sauce
* 1-inch piece fresh ginger, peeled and grated
* 1 medium carrot, grated on finest holes of a box grater
* 24 wonton wrappers

For the dipping sauce, combine 1/4 cup soy sauce with 2 tbsp Sri Racha sauce. Keep aside.

Directions

Heat 2 tablespoons of the oil in a large nonstick skillet over medium-high heat.add garlic and let it saute till the aroma fills the air. Add the tofu, vinegar, soy sauce, and ginger and cook, stirring about 3 to 4 minutes. Remove from the heat and stir in the carrot. Allow the filling to cool.

Keep refrigerated until ready to use.

To make the potstickers, lay a wonton wrapper on the work surface and put about 1 tablespoon of the filling in the center. Dip your finger in a little water and wet the edges of the wonton wrapper; this will help the potsticker seal when cooking. Bring the outside edges of the wonton wrapper together over the filling and press it together to form a pouch. Continue with the remaining wrappers and filling.

To cook the potstickers,boil 3 cups of water. Place a stainless steel steamer on top which has been greased with cooking spray. Place the potstickers on the bottom of the steamer right next to each other. You might need to cook them batch by batch. Steam on high heat for 8 mins per batch.

Transfer to a platter and serve with dipping sauce.

White Chocolate Blondies

I made this recipe for christmas. It was an instant hit with my friends. Hence the recipe for all to share and try out. The bars stay pretty good if kept at room temperature in an air tight cookie tin.

* 8 ounces white chocolate morsels
* 1 tablespoon vanilla extract
* 1 stick butter, softened
* 1 1/4 cups all-purpose flour
* 2 eggs
* 3/4 teaspoon salt
* 1/3 cup white sugar
* 1 cup semisweet swirled chocolate chips


1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Grease a 9x9 inch baking pan. Melt white chocolate and butter in the top of a double boiler, over barely simmering water. Stir occasionally until smooth. Set aside to cool.
2. In a large bowl, using an electric mixer, beat eggs until foamy. With the mixer still running, gradually add the sugar and vanilla. Drizzle in the melted white chocolate mixture. Combine the flour and salt; fold into the white chocolate mixture using a rubber spatula or wooden spoon. Fold in chocolate chips. Spread the batter evenly into the prepared pan.
3. Bake for 25 minutes in the preheated oven, or until a toothpick inserted in the middle comes out clean. Cool pan on a wire rack before cutting into bars.

Confessions of a sociopathic prim a donna....( my tribute inspired by The Confessions of sociopathic social climber' aka Katya Livingston)

I confess I have sinned and with this note I absolve myself of all the crimes I may have committed in the name of seeking attention just to satisfy my never to deflate ego. I cannot remember or I may have conveniently forgotten how this addiction of mine came to be or from which ground it took root. I just know that the minute my acquired minions begin to disperse and start to lose interest I rear out my sharp talons of contempt and begin my onslaught when they least expect it to. This confession is my way of catharsis so I can spew out the venomous thoughts that plague me with their tentacles compelling me to cause harm the only way I know,verbally! Hell I should've been in show business where i could sweet talk my way through any situation and attack my enemy when they least expect them to.
Even a calculative Prim a Donna like me (though I've never mastered a step of ballet in my life, hey I need toes to be able to fit into my Blahniks)needs her space to vent so I can start my day anew.
I am ardently guilty of being so self absorbed that any form of criticism feels like a jab at my personality. What I really need to hear day in and day out are praises of my big-bigheartedness, my kindness,the wit and the elegance of my ways. Anyone who fails to deliver on those terms will be on my social hit-list.
Ah! Now I remember how my journey began. See, I do have a memory for anything that involves self-glorification and me, me,me!
I came into this tepid life a newly married woman with a new lease and a fresh start. The husband was just a simpleton completely enamored by my youth and beguiling ways. As a single girl I never had the opportunity to venture too freely outside of my father's strict rule. But as a married woman with a puppy dog for a husband who worshiped the ground I walked upon I had a trump card and more than my share of wealth to spend as I chose compared to the other housewives i encountered in my early days of wifedom. Hell! I did not even have to earn a living ever till the day I would breath the last.( Like that day would ever come.I'm 24 and invincible as the Goddess Hera herself!)
The first victim to fall into my labyrinthine trap of sycophancy was Tiara,the very young impressionable child-wife of a colleague of my husbands. It was easy to tag her with gifts galore and regaling tales of my glamorous life before I gave it all up for a life of marital bliss. Besides I've always been a true follower of the adage that 'flattery will get you everywhere'. She was just the tip of the iceberg. using her as a stepping stone I built my way into her social circle and established my little kingdom, my very own Camelot where I ruled the roost.
But my rejoicing was short lived for I came face to face with a nemesis in the guise of an intelligent social butterfly named Calista who with her sincerity and wit did not need to resort to wiles like I did to make friends. How dare she try to thwart my plans of ascendancy? What was she compared to me; ungainly,ruddy and with a boring personal style of wardrobe? I would squash her like an annoying gnat swatted by a bat in the heat of the summer. Except it never happened no matter how hard i tried to eliminate this piece of competition.So I was reduced to distancing myself from her and anyone who chose to be with that witty busybody than gorgeous old me.She went ahead and lead her righteous, savant way of life while I furthered my collection of adulating fans who made me the center of attention.But after all my efforts I was left with just a few really unenterprising women who were not exactly up to my caliber but they just about had to do for the time being.
I shifted my focus on a career, one that i could dilly-dally about and still maintain a professional front to pass my time. This was just what I needed to survive this dulls ville of modern suburbia. So now I'm a self-proclaimed career woman, mother of three and still the best looking broad this side of the globe ( Thanks to the live-in Au pair and the botox gifts I receive every year from my still ardent husband of mine). Hell! I'm the stuff that reality shows are all about! And I owe this personal victory to my shrewdness and Dale Carnegie who wrote a brilliant book on how to win people in my favor called 'How to win friends and influence people'.
I hereby confess that I am the epitome of diplomacy and elegance but I still need a place to voice my true feelings. Hence this confession of my sociopolitical efforts to gain success in life and my social designs. Thank you blank white pages for giving me a chance to have that one glimmer of sincerity. Now I can go back to being the Prim a Donna that i am with a clear conscience.
Until the next time i get another burst of goodness where i feel the need to admit the truth of my being. But till that time comes I will resort to any means to divide, conquer, connive using every ounce of my wiles to get what I want. Au Revoir!