Embers that Sparkle

A fight to the finish

Struggles only known to you alone

Tribulations that rock the boat

A storm that seems to rage

Lightning bolt striking 

When least expected

These are the days

When you feel the need

During spurts of defeat

A friend forsakes you

Without a warning

You wonder if you'd been

Wrong in choosing

That shoulder to lean on

Thinking you were on the same page

Traveling the seas together

A kindred strain

That turned out a joke

Which was on you

But the must clears

Sooner that you think

Another lifeline is thrown

A connection renewed

Fresh beginning

Once you cast

The shroud of self doubt

You realize 

The beauty of the world out there

Where hope is everlasting

And not all are the ugly you've just witnessed

So you click those heels

Whisper in your heart

Words that had never left

Aspire once again

To be who you truly are

Take flight

Like a Phoenix rising

From ash still with embers burning

Peel away those old layers

Break away from the mold

And find another kindred

With whom you expect less

Hope for the best

And let time take it's course

For only some find those with whom

They can be true

To that voice inside their hearts

Only some can hear that note

And feel the resonance

Understand without asking

What needs to be done

Once there you hold on to these spirits

With a light thread

No promises of fealty

For friends made on the  base of hope

Are the ones that persevere

And understand the need

For sincerity

And the aspirations of

A better to tomorrow.

Beneath the veneer

Time is of no consequence

When it comes to that imaginary age spot I see

Next to that wrinkle of a frown

On a forehead

Spending too much time in that perpectual freeze

I worry more about fitting into that size 4 jeans

Than to pick up that squeaky toy that's in the way of my new espadrilles 

I skip that meal 

Call myself a health nut

Just so I can stand next to the 20 something kid

And feel invincible

I can't find that happy place

That thought that gives me contentment

Why?

Because I need to know what everyone around me

In the world is doing

Just so I can claim to do the same

Keep up appearances

Put that lipstick on

And feel power for that moment

Friends come and go

I choose them as I would

A Chanel scarf

See the silky exterior

Put it against my skin so it complements

How I keep them close

Be the one to stoke their egos with flattery

While inside I'd rather be somewhere else.

I need to be

I have to be

The most prominent

Center of attention

If not the only voice in the room

Being followed and applauded

For if not the Belle of the Ball

My wrath will be invoked 

The green eyed cashmere serpent

Forking it's tongue

Spewing secret venom

On unsuspecting backs

I'll play the game

Of divide and conquer

To the best of my abilities 

For without that excitement

My life is dull 

Without spark

And even in the moments

Of truth

I shy away from being true

To myself

To the reality that looks back at me

From that gilded Mirror Mirror On the Wall

I have to be the fairest of them all

Or I strike , smite them down

Those who have it easy

The Witty, the Kind, the ones that effortlessly

Go through life

With no internal turmoil

Or the strife that brings me to my knees

But I stand tall

Keep that manicured hand in order

Smile my best

Find my way in the social sea

Just so no one can see

That Fatal Flaw

In me....

Out of the box

 

Years go by

Watching them fly with tail light beacons 

Flashing their sparkles

Blinding my eyes

Moments fleeting by

In the blink of an eye

As I try to gather up my wits

Just to get through a day

Without a fuss

I get stuck in a rut

A broken record

Begging for release

From the ancient phonograph

That holds it down

What's to be done

That hasn't been done before

By ones before me

Or the ones before them

A voice calls from within

An echo long forgotten

In the rubble that I have created

A life less than ordinary

Shakes me from that reverie

The trance that has had a hold

A hold over my existence

A leap of faith

A purge of the negative

A few kind words

And a glimpse into the world outside

The real one I chose not to see

And there it is

My Yellow Brick Road

In guise of the Ruby Red slippers

I'd slipped into all those years ago

So off I go finding my Dolce Vita

Following that echo

As it leads me to a Seuss-ical Box

Once opened I don't unleash The Mother of all messes 

But a thingamajig to clean up the mess

I called my life